From The End Of School Going Back - Part1 (Exams)

All the quotes I have I never published:

Tue 17 Jun 08:
AK+JD: (Tallking of Miley's 'Well Holy God' in Glenroe) JD says it, AK: "That's not how he says it-'Well Holy God'" JD:"No, Well Holy God" AK: (in Italian accent):"Well Holy God"

Caller's ma found condoms in her bag, AK: "Slapper" JD: "What?" AK: "Who said that?" JD: "If someone found condoms in my handbag.." AK: "What are you doing with a handbag?" JD: "It was a stage I went through"

Wed 11 June:
Maher asks me and a few others to go get our pictures taken with Irish Times in yard. Duffy: "Get rid of Ms.Hayes..Miss, someone over there wants you" When photographer asks his name he says: "Martin Freeman"

Thur 5 June:
AK+JD: JD:"What county is the garden of Ireland?" Caller: "Westmeath" JD: "No, thats the kip of Ireland, I asked for the garden of Ireland"

Wed 4 June:
In yard, Hogan's in sandals; Duffy calls him Jesus......I have my bag open, Duffy: "Look sir, that's where Paddy put all your pictures, he doesn't like Cork people.....see you Richie (he doesn't reply) or not"

After Christmas - February

Mon 7 Jan:
R.E: Lorcan (to Maloney): "Are you into all of that family bondage....oh, bonding?"



Tue 8 Jan:
French: Byrne left some kids he was meant to talk to outside door, someone reminds him at end: "Oh shit"



Wed 9 Jan:
Maths: Pat was back (had been out), puts on jacket and leaves room, Furlong: "He's gone again, he's teasing us, playing hard-to-get"



Thur 10 Jan:
AK + JD: AK: "I was wallpapering today" JD: "Yeah, lashing your paste the wall" AK: "I was DIY-ing all day" JD: "Well, your hand must be in bits" AK: "Yeah, it goes everywhere" Caller: "I'm a taxi-driver" JD: "So how do you know so much about DIY?" AK: "Well I'm a radio-presenter" JD: "That's debatable"

Back to wallpaper: JD: "Knowing your tastes it's probably floral wallpaper" AK: "Yeah" JD: "Jesus Christ"



Mon 21 Jan:
B.S: Fionan keeps asking questions, Lorcan: "Is this class dedicated to you Fionan?"



Tue 22 Jan:
R.E: Maloney (to Daragh): "Fuck's sake, you keep talking" - She gives a lecture, there's silence, Millea: "Who are you talking to?"

Maloney (to Duffy): "What's your favourite film?" Lorcan (as Duffy): "Shaving Private Ryan"

Maloney: "I feel like a mother here" Fionan: "Nurse me" Lorcan: "Incest" Maloney: "What would Mr. Doyle say if I told him you said that, it's so insulting"

Lorcan: "Sam is like yer man Lou off 'Little Britain'......yeah, but no" Fionan: "That's his bird"

French: Paddy: "Sir, do you speak German?" Byrne:"...NO!"



Thur 24 Jan:
Classhead: Pat: "Who didn't get a mock timetable?" Millea: "Oh, I need one" Lorcan: "No, that's the wrong one, you need the Junior Cert one"

B.S: Lorcan: "What's wrong Mark [Millea] do you need your crayons?"

AK + JD: JD: "They have divorce parties now" AK: "Yeah there was one at my gig last week" JD: "Anything to plug the gig, everything happens at your gig. They're having circumcisions at your gig"



Mon 28 Jan:
Hist: Hogan: "There'll be no bias, I don't hate any of you that much, apart from Robert" Brushy: "Rob's small" Hogan: "I don't know Robert, you just rub me up the wrong way....oh, wait"

Someone: "Can we quote you? As Hogan said: 'Hitler was an astute politician'" Kealan: "As Stephen Tonge said; 'N***ers are faggots'" Hogan: "Just because you write a history book, it doesn't make you an historian. If you write a book on poetry, you don't become a poet" Rob: "Is that a dig at your brother?"



Tue 29 Jan:
B.S: Jamal and Kealan pushing, Woulfe: "Kealan!" Kealan: "He was slagging my nephew" Ellie: "How old is he?" KP:"He's.." Jamal: "Black" EW: "Are you the godfather?" KP: "No, it's my uncle" Jamal: "He's black"

AK + JD: JD: "I bet your mother was like Margaret Thatcher" AK: "I heard your's was aswell" JD: "Hard as nails, the iron lady" AK: "I heard your's looked like Margaret Thatcher" JD: "I heard your ma loked like Dennis Thatcher" AK: "I'm gonna throw this at you" JD: "Tell Thatch I said hello"



Wed 6 Feb 08:
AK + JD: JD: "I was eating a Chinese earlier, then I went out for something to eat"




Thur 14 Feb:
Hist: Hogan was out, so we had Beard, to Fionan: "If you don't put that [ipod] away I'll confiscate it", he doesn't, Beard takes it, Fionan: "I was in the process of putting it away" Beard: "Well, I'm in the process of taking it" Fionan: "When can I get it back?" Beard: "I'm in the process of deciding that"

Beard reading something, Brushy: "What currency is that?" Beard: "Canadian-Dollar" BoF: "We could do with some maple syrup in here"

R.E: (Speaking of Georgie): Lorcan: "He's a prick in his house; 'Ma, get me shum fucking breakfasht'"

Maloney: "I saw Sam in Tesco in Artane, I couldn't go over to him with no make-up on" Duffy: "Who, him or you?"

Kilduff: "Miss, are you invited to Mr. Hogan's wedding?" Fionan: "They're re-enacting the 1916 Rising"

Someone: "Are you going to Mr. McMorrow's wedding?" Lorcan: "I see them in the airport every mid-term. He's in front of the screen with his notebook taking down the times. 'Ah yes, we're leaving in 13 minutes'" Phili: "He's a plane-spotter"




Mon 18 Feb:
AK + JD: JD: "I go for walks on the beach in Donabate, at night, by myself" AK: "What were you doing there?" JD: "Walking my dog" AK: "You don't have a dog" JD: "I know, it's a good excuse when the Guards pull me over, I'm looking for my dog"



Tue 19 Feb:
AK + JD: JD: "Is there an Emo Garage in Dublin? It's not where depressed teenagers go" AK: "Oh, I know where it is, I went there once" JD: "Don't tell them....wait, why were you in that neck of the woods?" AK: "Eh...it was on my way home" JD: "No way were you on your way home"




Wed 20 Feb:
Hist: Hogan: "They said JJ Lee (his idol) was full of bias at the inservice, they were criticising him. They stopped as soon as they heard my Cork accent...I was about to go all medieval on their ass...I was going to text him and tell him, I still hav his number from when I stalked him"

Classhead: Pat: "Any Student Council Class Reps?" Phili puts up his hand OD: "Oh, congratulations, meeting.."

Maths: (Describing Integration by product or something) Pat: "I like to call these questions a double-portion"

B.S: Ellie: "So is anyone going to that revision workshop?" Millea: "Oh yeah, Miss, I'm not going"



Fri 22 Feb:
Before P.E (Day of Irish Times article): Luke: "That was Michael (caretaker) that wrote that article (does accent) 'I have to clean very dirty school'" 5th Year: "They put toilet-roll on toilet and piss on it"

CUS In Pictures And Video

The fruit of a week's work, all of my footage put together for this video: CUS In Pictures

Rembering Mr. Vaughan: Part 1

My first Mr. Vaughan video, during his brief stint as History teacher.

The Potscast Awards Return

Nominees:


Best Picture:

• The Chess Coach And Kids:
  
  
• Treacy's Over-Exuberance:
  
  
• Duck-Arse Picking His Nose:
  
  
  
• Lambe, His Curry And Omera Mumba:
  

• A Stoner, Ms. Sweeney's There Aswell:
  

• Lambe With The Tri-Colour Fluttering In The Background:
  

• Ken Doherty's Angry:
  

• Freeman Runs Off With His Love:
  

• Pat Doyle Models For Tommy Hilfiger:
  

• Mr. Munn's Reading Difficulties:
  
  
  

Saddest Moment:

• Mr. Vaughan leaving


• Pat Patterson leaving:
  
  
  
• Hogan returning from the Philipines, alive


• Kilbane's arrival:
  
  
  

Best Teacher:

• Pat Doyle
• John Doyle
• Mr. Lambe
• Pat Patterson
• Vinnie Mac
• Other....

Worst Teacher:

• R'n'B
• Kilbane
• Hogan
• Mulchrone
• Other....

Funniest Moment (Of 2007/08): (Shortlist, pick your top 5 to make the nominees)

• Me jumping across the desk in Irish to make Niall laugh
• Niall returning the favour in Irish by making me laugh: "Go hang your bollocks off Patrick Dempsey's eybrows"
• Pat Doyle making his actuary joke
• Ms. Miller lasts 2 and a half classes: "You can all go and fuck yourselves"
• Woulfe: "Kealan put your phone away" Kealan: "I'm just checking the time" EW: "It's not allowed, get a watch, or ask me" KP: "What time is it?" Fogo: "Get out"
• Pat Doyle walks into history looking for someone, after he leaves: Hogan: "I'll never wash these floors again" Kealan: "You never wash these floors" RH: "Of course I do, I'm on my knees at the weekend washing them" Kealan: "That cum stain has been on the floor for years"
• Brushy: "There's no blacks in the school" Hogan: "Jennings..." (Everyone continues talking unaware that was supposed to be a joke)
• Duffy: "I did Ms.Woulfe, she was shite"
• This whole class of English: Some drug-addict called Ms. Miller says she's teaching us English while Hogan's gone;P. Kelly: "I'm David Caffrey" Luke (as Borat) "David Caffrey on detention!.......I want to make sex explosion on your face"; Philip reads his essay "My Ideal Afternoon": "I was sitting in my kitchen on an 2-legged wooden chair with only a mocha-choca-chino for company....it was a gay afternoon"; Lorenzo writes "I love Ms. Miller" on his essay and signs off as James Brennan; Lorcan: "Well first of all Miss, Mr.Hogan usually teaches with his top off"
• Woulfe has lights off for projector, Dotsy comes in and turns them on, he goes in the black book. Others come in, Dylan and Duffy "Turn on those lights there". Keegan (who else) falls for it, Fogo: "Keegan just get out", E.W: "Keegan just get out"
• French: News was coming through that Shane McShite was expelled (YES!), Niall: "It was consensual" Me: "It was consensual, then they expelled him"
• Hogan: "There's a few technical problems with the Wall Of Sound" Fionan: "You should get rid of all that crap (beside the window) and put it there" Hogan: "No, I want it down there so I can look at it from here over Kilduff's oddly shaped head.....That's been building up in me since the Philipines"
• Doyle: "So if you spin it along the y-axis, what shape do you get?" Fuzzy: "A donut" PD: "Yes, one of those round-shaped donuts with chocolate on top, they're gorgeous and all that"
• 23 May 2007-Mr. Byrne's Election Poster:

That's all so far, much more to come

First Update Since Christmas

And I don't have the time or the patience to go over everything that happened since then so it's just:

Mon 25 Feb:
Eng: We had to put our mock grade and what we want in the LC on a sheet, someone put John Smith A1-A1, Hogan: "A1-A1, he's certainly not in this class"

AK and JD: AK: (reccomending a restaurant in Drogheda) "I was up there the other day"
JD: "Hold on, hold on, stop the show, what were you doing in Drogheda?......You have a very secret life" AK: "My sat-nav led me there"

Tue 26 Feb:
AK+JD: AK: "That'll be in the post before Jeremy wears a condom again" JD: "Sorry, did you say something?" AK: "No, anyway that'll be in the post before (quieter) Jeremy wears a condom again" JD: "Sorry what did you say? At least my sperm is still active, anyway..."

Wed 27 Feb:
Hist: Hogan: "OK, Unionists on this side, boo them, and Catholics on this side. (S. Reid comes in) Come in my Catholic friend. Sit down anywhere you want, you're a Catholic"
Fionan, on the Catholic side has to read, someone: "Jew"

Thur 28 Feb:
B.S: (After Marist priest was giving away DVDs) Dylan: "Miss, do you want to buy a DVD for €7?" Deco: "C'mon let's start this test so we can fail"

Mon 3 Mar:
B.S: Millea: "Miss there's no kids in this class, we're all mature" Lorcan: "You Millea"

Fionan giving some explanation, someone: "Why don't you just go and kill yourself"

Woulfe: "Penetration pricing (laughter)... o.k so everyone got their little giggle out of that"


Classhead: Sam falls over desk (who else)

Tue 4 Mar:
B.S: Woulfe: "Kealan put your phone away" Kealan: "I'm just checking the time" EW: "It's not allowed, get a watch, or ask me" KP: "What time is it?" Fogo: "Get out"

Kilbane outside door, Millea: "Alright Miss, how's Kevin?"

RTE Champions League:
Eamon: "Brown's insulted by his £50,000 a week offer, I can empathise with him"

Eamon: "United have some Mickey Mouse cup match against Portsmouth at the weekend" Graeme: "Don't say that to Harry (Redknapp)" Eamon: "I don't think Harry watches RTE, or so I'm told"

Wed 5 Mar:
Hist: Pat Doyle walks in looking for someone, after he leaves: Hogan: "I'll never wash these floors again" Kealan: "You never wash these floors" RH: "Of course I do, I'm on my knees at the weekend washing them" Kealan: "That cum stain has been on the floor for years"

Hogan: "Kilduff, what are you doing? (writing on table) That's vandalism, vandalism has no place in history" Kilduff: "IRA"

Accounting: Kearns: "Miss, is it ok for Sam to be kinoodling (you spell that?) with a girl 4 years younger than him?" KK: "No" Kearns: "Is it ok for Sam to kinoodle with any girl?" KK: "No"

On bus I tell Duffy Lanigan is in girl's primary school now, Duffy: "She can't get up to anything there, lesbian action"