What Happened During The Phillipines Trip

Monday 1 Oct 07:
English: Some drug-addict called Ms. Miller says she's teaching us English while Hogan's gone;
P. Kelly: "I'm David Caffrey" Luke (as Borat) "David Caffrey on detention!.......I want to make sex explosion on your face"
Philip reads his essay "My Ideal Afternoon": "I was sitting in my kitchen on an 2-legged wooden chair with only a mocha-choca-chino for company....it was a gay afternoon"
Lorenzo writes "I love Ms. Miller" on his essay and signs off as James Brennan.
Lorcan: "Well first of all Miss, Mr.Hogan usually teaches with his top off"

Maths: P.Doyle: "So your answer is log 2 which equals 0.6931...I don't go around learning off log tables, I have a far more exciting life than that. I know it from physics"

B.S: Woulfe has lights off for projector, Dotsy comes in and turns them on, he goes in the black book. Others come in, Dylan and Duffy "Turn on those lights there". Keegan (who else) falls for it, Fogo: "Keegan just get out", E.W: "Keegan just get out"

Tuesday:
English: Philip: "Are we actually doing English?"
Miller: "You wouldn't do this to a male teacher.....Did you ever read '1984' by George Orwell, I bet you didn't", Dean:"Funny!"
Miller: "Is anyone familiar with Pink Floyd?" P.Kelly puts up hand, revealing pink boxers. Miller snaps and makes her big exit: "You (P.Kelly), you're a prick, you two (him and Luke), you're both f*cken pricks, the whole lot of you go f*ck yourselves" (with that she storms out....lesbian BYE!)

B.S: Fogo and Dotsy want to leave early for bus, Fogo: "Well we don't all live on the Southside" E.W (to Dotsy): "You're in trouble aswell" Dotsy: "What?! I didn't say anything...I'm not in that boat" Ciaran: "You won't be on that bus either"

Wednesday:
Irish: Gillanders (to Shane McShite): "Shane will you put that phone away" SMcK:"Yeah" OG: "Shane.." SMcK:"Yeah, in a f*cken second" That was a lot of cursing in the last 2 days.

Monday (8th Oct):
Maths: PD: "Eoghan did you get the answer?" Furlong: "No" PD: "Did you have a problem?" EF: "Yeah" PD: "Voice your opinion there Eoghan, assert your human rights"
Pat: (Talking of some magazine for the Leaving Cert): "It's €30 for 7 issues which, in my opinion, is a little steep"

AK Phoneshow: Someone rings in doing a very bad Jake Stevens, Jeremy:"Jake Stevens, that's so old, I suppose you may aswell ring up and say 'How you doin?' or 'Wasssssuuuupp'"

Wednesday:
AK Phoneshow: AK: "Tonight at 10:30 we'll have a report on someone getting a prick stuck into them" JD:"At that time of night" (Jeremy giving blood)
JD: "My brother-in-law had it in his hand earlier with a measuring tape to measure the length and width of it......Seemingly, SEEMINGly they're bigger" (Wispa bars)
AK swatted a fly, JD: "There's something all squishy in your hand" AK: "Oh, there's the fly in the other hand"

Thursday:
French: News was coming through that Shane McShite was expelled (YES!), Niall: "It was consensual" Me: "It was consensual, then they expelled him"

Friday:
B.S: Woulfe catches Millea doing his homework, Dotsy: "Leave him alone Miss, he's hormonal" Fogo: "He didn't get his Ready-Brek this morning"

Accounting: Dean has to go to Freeman's, Donal: "Do you want some Vaseline?" Sam: "He has chapped lips, Miss"

After P.E; Dylan: "Goose isn't going to have a shower before he goes out tonight, he said 'Sure I'll be having one tomorrow'" Mackey: "What's the point in having a shower if you're just going to get dirty again"

Tuesday (16th Oct):
Hist: BoF: (As Vaughan): "You destroyed my 'Fog Of War', that was €30 like"

Maths: PD (giving Goose a detention slip): "Stephen, here's an unwanted present"

B.S: Millea: "Miss, does Ireland have more exports than imports?"
Fogo: "Are footballers imports? They provide a service" Dotsy: "That's one to ponder over"
BoF: "Miss, are Russia in the EU?" Dotsy (as BoF): "Are Austalia in the EU?" BoF: "Someone told me they were in the EU" Lorcan: "I wouldn't f*cken listen to them anymore BoF"

AK Phoneshow: (talking of kissing on trains) JD: "If you are making out on a train, pull out first" AK: "What?" JD: "Pull out from the station"

Tuesday:
R.E: We're watching "Alive!", Hugh: "Miss, is this made by the same people who made 'Fair City'" Maloney: "No, why?" Hugh: "It's crap"

Wednesday: (Hogan et al are back)
Maths: Furlong: "We're going to give Hogan a welcoming jig in history"

History: Hogan's first question: "Lads, what the f*ck did you do to the substitute teacher?" Furlong: "She came in with the attitude" Fionan: "She took a disliking to Patrick Kelly's underwear"
Brushy (as Bof on the Philipines trip): "This is stupid, what's the point, why can't you build it yourselves. You're all thicks"

Accounting: KK: "We're going to work back-the-ways (?)"
Sweets: "Miss, where's our new projector screen?" Donal: "You have to demand it from Fr. Daly" Sam: "Go into the office and give him a few kisses"

B.S: Declan gives some stupid answer, EW: "Does anyone have anything else to say?" Daragh: "Shut up" EW: "Apart from that"

AK Phoneshow: (talking of snails and frogs legs): JD:"Did you ever put something slippery in your mouth?" AK: "Yeah, once, and I swallowed it. It tasted like rubber.....You have to put it on your tongue and it slides down your throat" JD: "And how were the snails?"
AK: (In a bad french accent): "Les escargots" JD: "They're not Italian"
Talking of Chinese restaurants: AK: "It's the 'wong' restaurant" JD: (exhale)

The Rest Of The Week:
Thursday (18th Oct 07): History: (Hogan's providing a lot of quotes since coming back from the Philipines) Hogan: "There's a few technical problems with the Wall Of Sound" Fionan: "You should get rid of all that crap (beside the window) and put it there" Hogan: "No, I want it down there so I can look at it from here over Kilduff's oddly shaped head.....That's been building up in me since the Philipines"
Hogan: "What were the reasons for championing Rosa Parks" Someone: "She was black" BoF: "She's a bit black alright"
Hogan: "Sorry to keep mention this but the black woman in Star Trek" Brushy: "Will I write the black woman from Star Trek in my Leaving Cert and get an A?"
Sweetman: "She was a black woman" Hogan: "She was"
Rob giving reasons to Hogan, Hogan: "OK, you're boring me now Robert"
Hogan: "The Montgomery Boy....Bus Boycott. I can assure you there were no boys invloved"

English: (talking of Ms. Miller) Hogan: "Do you have the handouts she gave you?"
Philip: "I wonder how she's coping without the methodone"
P.Kelly: "Sir, I heard Interpol were looking for you"
Daragh (to Hogan): "Did you hear what Ms. Maher (pronounced More) was saying about you?"
Hogan: "Maura?"

Irish: Gillanders ('An Triail'): "She put her baby's head in the oven and gasses herself" Dylan: "That's a bit harsh"

AK Phoneshow: JD: "What did you play with when you were younger? Wait don't answer that" AK: "Well, I was 15 when I got my first one, it was round. It was a record" JD: "What was your record? 7 minutes?" AK: "More like 3"
(Talking of toy soldiers) JD: "When was the last time you played with your soldier?" AK: "When I was 15" JD: "That was a long time ago"

Friday:
Accounting:



History: BoF: "For the project I know the title can't just be 'Cathal Brugha'. It has to be...." Hogan: "'Cathal Brugha-Scumbag'" Fionan: "Langer!" Kilduff: "Terrorist"

Maths: P Doyle: "So if you spin it along the y-axis, what shape do you get?" Fuzzy: "A donut" PD: "Yes, one of those round-shaped donuts with chocolate on top, they're gorgeous and all that"

Business: Some 1st year comes into class, Duffy turns around to stare at him but knocks his books off his table: "Oh shite"

Fr. Daly took Vaughan's (his last day today) Irish class out of Mass because they all drew cocks on Ms. Woulfe's pink Bush............CD Player (it was in his classroom for some reason)
During Mass: Fr.Keenan: "What's your last hymn, or song, they seem to have all been love songs so far" Mackey: "'Angels'" Fr. Keenan: "Oh, I suppose that has a holy theme"

AK Phoneshow: AK (Talking of old kid's TV show 'Button Moon') "That man (in credits) sounds like a pervert" JD (sarcastically): "Yeah, he's definitely on the sex register"
Caller: "Do you remember another show called 'The Shoe People'?......they kept changing their heads" JD: "Excuse me?" Caller: "The characters all had different shaped heads" JD: "Like the Aherns?"