After Christmas - February

Mon 7 Jan:
R.E: Lorcan (to Maloney): "Are you into all of that family bondage....oh, bonding?"



Tue 8 Jan:
French: Byrne left some kids he was meant to talk to outside door, someone reminds him at end: "Oh shit"



Wed 9 Jan:
Maths: Pat was back (had been out), puts on jacket and leaves room, Furlong: "He's gone again, he's teasing us, playing hard-to-get"



Thur 10 Jan:
AK + JD: AK: "I was wallpapering today" JD: "Yeah, lashing your paste the wall" AK: "I was DIY-ing all day" JD: "Well, your hand must be in bits" AK: "Yeah, it goes everywhere" Caller: "I'm a taxi-driver" JD: "So how do you know so much about DIY?" AK: "Well I'm a radio-presenter" JD: "That's debatable"

Back to wallpaper: JD: "Knowing your tastes it's probably floral wallpaper" AK: "Yeah" JD: "Jesus Christ"



Mon 21 Jan:
B.S: Fionan keeps asking questions, Lorcan: "Is this class dedicated to you Fionan?"



Tue 22 Jan:
R.E: Maloney (to Daragh): "Fuck's sake, you keep talking" - She gives a lecture, there's silence, Millea: "Who are you talking to?"

Maloney (to Duffy): "What's your favourite film?" Lorcan (as Duffy): "Shaving Private Ryan"

Maloney: "I feel like a mother here" Fionan: "Nurse me" Lorcan: "Incest" Maloney: "What would Mr. Doyle say if I told him you said that, it's so insulting"

Lorcan: "Sam is like yer man Lou off 'Little Britain'......yeah, but no" Fionan: "That's his bird"

French: Paddy: "Sir, do you speak German?" Byrne:"...NO!"



Thur 24 Jan:
Classhead: Pat: "Who didn't get a mock timetable?" Millea: "Oh, I need one" Lorcan: "No, that's the wrong one, you need the Junior Cert one"

B.S: Lorcan: "What's wrong Mark [Millea] do you need your crayons?"

AK + JD: JD: "They have divorce parties now" AK: "Yeah there was one at my gig last week" JD: "Anything to plug the gig, everything happens at your gig. They're having circumcisions at your gig"



Mon 28 Jan:
Hist: Hogan: "There'll be no bias, I don't hate any of you that much, apart from Robert" Brushy: "Rob's small" Hogan: "I don't know Robert, you just rub me up the wrong way....oh, wait"

Someone: "Can we quote you? As Hogan said: 'Hitler was an astute politician'" Kealan: "As Stephen Tonge said; 'N***ers are faggots'" Hogan: "Just because you write a history book, it doesn't make you an historian. If you write a book on poetry, you don't become a poet" Rob: "Is that a dig at your brother?"



Tue 29 Jan:
B.S: Jamal and Kealan pushing, Woulfe: "Kealan!" Kealan: "He was slagging my nephew" Ellie: "How old is he?" KP:"He's.." Jamal: "Black" EW: "Are you the godfather?" KP: "No, it's my uncle" Jamal: "He's black"

AK + JD: JD: "I bet your mother was like Margaret Thatcher" AK: "I heard your's was aswell" JD: "Hard as nails, the iron lady" AK: "I heard your's looked like Margaret Thatcher" JD: "I heard your ma loked like Dennis Thatcher" AK: "I'm gonna throw this at you" JD: "Tell Thatch I said hello"



Wed 6 Feb 08:
AK + JD: JD: "I was eating a Chinese earlier, then I went out for something to eat"




Thur 14 Feb:
Hist: Hogan was out, so we had Beard, to Fionan: "If you don't put that [ipod] away I'll confiscate it", he doesn't, Beard takes it, Fionan: "I was in the process of putting it away" Beard: "Well, I'm in the process of taking it" Fionan: "When can I get it back?" Beard: "I'm in the process of deciding that"

Beard reading something, Brushy: "What currency is that?" Beard: "Canadian-Dollar" BoF: "We could do with some maple syrup in here"

R.E: (Speaking of Georgie): Lorcan: "He's a prick in his house; 'Ma, get me shum fucking breakfasht'"

Maloney: "I saw Sam in Tesco in Artane, I couldn't go over to him with no make-up on" Duffy: "Who, him or you?"

Kilduff: "Miss, are you invited to Mr. Hogan's wedding?" Fionan: "They're re-enacting the 1916 Rising"

Someone: "Are you going to Mr. McMorrow's wedding?" Lorcan: "I see them in the airport every mid-term. He's in front of the screen with his notebook taking down the times. 'Ah yes, we're leaving in 13 minutes'" Phili: "He's a plane-spotter"




Mon 18 Feb:
AK + JD: JD: "I go for walks on the beach in Donabate, at night, by myself" AK: "What were you doing there?" JD: "Walking my dog" AK: "You don't have a dog" JD: "I know, it's a good excuse when the Guards pull me over, I'm looking for my dog"



Tue 19 Feb:
AK + JD: JD: "Is there an Emo Garage in Dublin? It's not where depressed teenagers go" AK: "Oh, I know where it is, I went there once" JD: "Don't tell them....wait, why were you in that neck of the woods?" AK: "Eh...it was on my way home" JD: "No way were you on your way home"




Wed 20 Feb:
Hist: Hogan: "They said JJ Lee (his idol) was full of bias at the inservice, they were criticising him. They stopped as soon as they heard my Cork accent...I was about to go all medieval on their ass...I was going to text him and tell him, I still hav his number from when I stalked him"

Classhead: Pat: "Any Student Council Class Reps?" Phili puts up his hand OD: "Oh, congratulations, meeting.."

Maths: (Describing Integration by product or something) Pat: "I like to call these questions a double-portion"

B.S: Ellie: "So is anyone going to that revision workshop?" Millea: "Oh yeah, Miss, I'm not going"



Fri 22 Feb:
Before P.E (Day of Irish Times article): Luke: "That was Michael (caretaker) that wrote that article (does accent) 'I have to clean very dirty school'" 5th Year: "They put toilet-roll on toilet and piss on it"

CUS In Pictures And Video

The fruit of a week's work, all of my footage put together for this video: CUS In Pictures

Rembering Mr. Vaughan: Part 1

My first Mr. Vaughan video, during his brief stint as History teacher.

The Potscast Awards Return

Nominees:


Best Picture:

• The Chess Coach And Kids:
  
  
• Treacy's Over-Exuberance:
  
  
• Duck-Arse Picking His Nose:
  
  
  
• Lambe, His Curry And Omera Mumba:
  

• A Stoner, Ms. Sweeney's There Aswell:
  

• Lambe With The Tri-Colour Fluttering In The Background:
  

• Ken Doherty's Angry:
  

• Freeman Runs Off With His Love:
  

• Pat Doyle Models For Tommy Hilfiger:
  

• Mr. Munn's Reading Difficulties:
  
  
  

Saddest Moment:

• Mr. Vaughan leaving


• Pat Patterson leaving:
  
  
  
• Hogan returning from the Philipines, alive


• Kilbane's arrival:
  
  
  

Best Teacher:

• Pat Doyle
• John Doyle
• Mr. Lambe
• Pat Patterson
• Vinnie Mac
• Other....

Worst Teacher:

• R'n'B
• Kilbane
• Hogan
• Mulchrone
• Other....

Funniest Moment (Of 2007/08): (Shortlist, pick your top 5 to make the nominees)

• Me jumping across the desk in Irish to make Niall laugh
• Niall returning the favour in Irish by making me laugh: "Go hang your bollocks off Patrick Dempsey's eybrows"
• Pat Doyle making his actuary joke
• Ms. Miller lasts 2 and a half classes: "You can all go and fuck yourselves"
• Woulfe: "Kealan put your phone away" Kealan: "I'm just checking the time" EW: "It's not allowed, get a watch, or ask me" KP: "What time is it?" Fogo: "Get out"
• Pat Doyle walks into history looking for someone, after he leaves: Hogan: "I'll never wash these floors again" Kealan: "You never wash these floors" RH: "Of course I do, I'm on my knees at the weekend washing them" Kealan: "That cum stain has been on the floor for years"
• Brushy: "There's no blacks in the school" Hogan: "Jennings..." (Everyone continues talking unaware that was supposed to be a joke)
• Duffy: "I did Ms.Woulfe, she was shite"
• This whole class of English: Some drug-addict called Ms. Miller says she's teaching us English while Hogan's gone;P. Kelly: "I'm David Caffrey" Luke (as Borat) "David Caffrey on detention!.......I want to make sex explosion on your face"; Philip reads his essay "My Ideal Afternoon": "I was sitting in my kitchen on an 2-legged wooden chair with only a mocha-choca-chino for company....it was a gay afternoon"; Lorenzo writes "I love Ms. Miller" on his essay and signs off as James Brennan; Lorcan: "Well first of all Miss, Mr.Hogan usually teaches with his top off"
• Woulfe has lights off for projector, Dotsy comes in and turns them on, he goes in the black book. Others come in, Dylan and Duffy "Turn on those lights there". Keegan (who else) falls for it, Fogo: "Keegan just get out", E.W: "Keegan just get out"
• French: News was coming through that Shane McShite was expelled (YES!), Niall: "It was consensual" Me: "It was consensual, then they expelled him"
• Hogan: "There's a few technical problems with the Wall Of Sound" Fionan: "You should get rid of all that crap (beside the window) and put it there" Hogan: "No, I want it down there so I can look at it from here over Kilduff's oddly shaped head.....That's been building up in me since the Philipines"
• Doyle: "So if you spin it along the y-axis, what shape do you get?" Fuzzy: "A donut" PD: "Yes, one of those round-shaped donuts with chocolate on top, they're gorgeous and all that"
• 23 May 2007-Mr. Byrne's Election Poster:

That's all so far, much more to come

First Update Since Christmas

And I don't have the time or the patience to go over everything that happened since then so it's just:

Mon 25 Feb:
Eng: We had to put our mock grade and what we want in the LC on a sheet, someone put John Smith A1-A1, Hogan: "A1-A1, he's certainly not in this class"

AK and JD: AK: (reccomending a restaurant in Drogheda) "I was up there the other day"
JD: "Hold on, hold on, stop the show, what were you doing in Drogheda?......You have a very secret life" AK: "My sat-nav led me there"

Tue 26 Feb:
AK+JD: AK: "That'll be in the post before Jeremy wears a condom again" JD: "Sorry, did you say something?" AK: "No, anyway that'll be in the post before (quieter) Jeremy wears a condom again" JD: "Sorry what did you say? At least my sperm is still active, anyway..."

Wed 27 Feb:
Hist: Hogan: "OK, Unionists on this side, boo them, and Catholics on this side. (S. Reid comes in) Come in my Catholic friend. Sit down anywhere you want, you're a Catholic"
Fionan, on the Catholic side has to read, someone: "Jew"

Thur 28 Feb:
B.S: (After Marist priest was giving away DVDs) Dylan: "Miss, do you want to buy a DVD for €7?" Deco: "C'mon let's start this test so we can fail"

Mon 3 Mar:
B.S: Millea: "Miss there's no kids in this class, we're all mature" Lorcan: "You Millea"

Fionan giving some explanation, someone: "Why don't you just go and kill yourself"

Woulfe: "Penetration pricing (laughter)... o.k so everyone got their little giggle out of that"


Classhead: Sam falls over desk (who else)

Tue 4 Mar:
B.S: Woulfe: "Kealan put your phone away" Kealan: "I'm just checking the time" EW: "It's not allowed, get a watch, or ask me" KP: "What time is it?" Fogo: "Get out"

Kilbane outside door, Millea: "Alright Miss, how's Kevin?"

RTE Champions League:
Eamon: "Brown's insulted by his £50,000 a week offer, I can empathise with him"

Eamon: "United have some Mickey Mouse cup match against Portsmouth at the weekend" Graeme: "Don't say that to Harry (Redknapp)" Eamon: "I don't think Harry watches RTE, or so I'm told"

Wed 5 Mar:
Hist: Pat Doyle walks in looking for someone, after he leaves: Hogan: "I'll never wash these floors again" Kealan: "You never wash these floors" RH: "Of course I do, I'm on my knees at the weekend washing them" Kealan: "That cum stain has been on the floor for years"

Hogan: "Kilduff, what are you doing? (writing on table) That's vandalism, vandalism has no place in history" Kilduff: "IRA"

Accounting: Kearns: "Miss, is it ok for Sam to be kinoodling (you spell that?) with a girl 4 years younger than him?" KK: "No" Kearns: "Is it ok for Sam to kinoodle with any girl?" KK: "No"

On bus I tell Duffy Lanigan is in girl's primary school now, Duffy: "She can't get up to anything there, lesbian action"

Another Week....

Monday 22 October 07:
History: Our humourous conversation about Rosa Parks:

Hogan: "Was Rosa Parks a plant on the bus....well obviously not a plant but.."

Hogan: "She's a young woman, 43" Rob: "41" Hogan: "43 (Then starts adding in his head), I want to prove Tonge wrong"

Hogan: "Rosa Parks was 43, don't mind Tonge"

BoF: "How did she die?" Hogan: "She was attacked......by a bus, how ironic (his new word) would that be?" Brushy: "With a black driver" Hogan: "How do you think she died Brian, at 92?" BoF: "She was 42"

Langan: "In a black place" BoF: "It's African-American. You have to be politically correct about these things"

Sweetman: "How did they plan that a white person would ask her to move?" Brushy: "She just kept riding the bus until it happened"

Hogan: "Don't write blacks......what do you want to say, gollies (?), n*****s?" Furlong:"Well it says blacks in the book" Hogan: "Yeah, well Tonge wrote it" Rob: "He probably wanted to say n*****s"

Hogan: "Look atthe fools in that picture (of the KKK)" Brushy: "She's a babe" (some fat minger)

Hogan: "Matt, what were the laws of the area called, it's a very annoying bird, a black bird - how ironic" (The Jim Crow Laws)

Racism aside, Sweetman forgot his homework; Hogan: "In future Conor, if you're out of class, you should ring one of your pals and get the homework, but don't ring Mark Kilduff, he's no-one's pal"

English:
Hogan: "OK, take this down in your copies" Hugh: "You have our copies" Hogan: "Write it on the back of your hand, or on the back of a Cornflakes box"

Hogan: "I'm tired" Hugh: "It's those new shoes (the brown ones), no support in them"

Maths:
Pat: (explaining Linear Transformations) "Basically, you have to f a [f(a)], I know that sounds slightly rude"

French:
Byrner: "Does anyone want their hobby to be their future job?" Mario puts up his hand, P.Kelly: "Oh, God" Byrner (to Paddy): "I know your talents, embroidery..."

Tuesday 23:

Business:
Duffy takes a drink out of Jamal's bottle of water, throws it back and it spills all over his book, Woulfe tells him to leave. When we're going out for break, he spills ANOTHER bottle of water, leaving a big puddle athis desk by the end of class.

Woulfe (to Ciaran): "How ironic that we'd be talking about education standards, while you're talking in class in your Leaving Cert year" Class: "Ooooooooo" Ironic seems to be the new word for taechers

Accounting:
Dean: "Miss, can I have a tissue please?" Kilbane: "What am I, Kleenex Ireland?" Everyone: (sarcastic cough)

AK Phoneshow: (Talking of ponies and horses) AK: "Pretend I'm Adrain the pony" JD: "I'm not riding you....you un-educated fools, a pony is not a horse"

Wednesday 24:

Accounting:
Sweets is asking Kilbane if she's related to Kevin Kilbane, Jenko comes in and stands behind him, he continues talking, turns around; Jenko: "Alright?" and he walks out.

Some random taxi driver comes to the door: "Excuse me, where can I find the office?" Dean: "I'll show him"

After Business, Woulfe is wearing her leg warmers, Duffy shouts: "Miss, you ripped your socks"

Thursday 25:

History: (More racism)

Fionan: "BoF's talking about his racial experience over there......he dropped the soap" BoF: "Yeah, you wish Fionan"

Brushy: "There's no balcks in the school" Hogan: "Jennings..." (Everyone continues talking unaware that was supposed to be a joke)

Hogan: "Kilduff, if you want to subscribe to the KKK weekly newsletter, I'm sure you'll find it on the internet"

English:
P. Kelly (to Hogan): "Do we have another English class today?" Hogan: "Yeah" PK: "Oh God"

Daragh says something inaudible, Hogan: "Was that humour coming from you Daragh? The first attempt in 2 years."

Hogan: "Daragh, what's the next word?" Daragh continues reading the notes in his monotone, Hogan: "Daragh, thank you for that insightful opening"

R.E:
Luke (to Maloney): "Miss, who's the worst teacher for drinking?....I bet Ms. Varley's gone after a pint of 7up..'Where's me bike?!'"

AK Phoneshow: JD: "Adrian has a poker face" AK: "That's not very nice" JD: "As in a face you'd want to wallop with a poker"

Coca-Cola from Afghanistan: JD: "I don't think the Taliban are making Coke and sending it over here, well maybe they are, but not the kind of Coke we're talking about.....Find out what river flows through Afghanistan you un-educated fool"

Friday 26:

Maths:
Pat: "We're taking that last week before Christmas as a normal week. It's when people get all happy (with a look of disgust on his face) and say they love each other. But none of that in here, we're here to work"

History:
Hogan: "They (The Black Panthers) invented the phrase 'Black Power'. Should I bring in boot polish, put it on and we can all go around the school shouting 'Black Power!' Would it work?.....No?"

Hogan: "Brian, what does that phrase mean?" BoF: "Oh, you read it too fast", Hogan repeats it, BoF: "Are you still asking me?"

Hogan: "Robert, are you O.K?" Rob: "Ya" Hogan: "That sounded painful, now will you stop blowing on Eoghan's neck please" Furlong: "Kinky!"

Monday 29:

RTE: 'The 20 Moments That Shook Irish Sport': (Talking about violence in Aussie Rules in 2005) BOD: "You do that on the street and it's called common assault"

Monday 5 Nov 07:

R.E:
Millea (Talking about some English child abductors): "They encouraged incense, didn't they?" Sam: "You mean incest?"

AK Phoneshow: JD: "There are many things I haven't tried because I know I won't like them, I've never kissed a man" AK: "I did" JD: "What?" AK: "It was a dead body" JD: "There's a name for that....it's illegal.....let's go back, you were romantically involved with a dead body? Was it stiff?" AK: "It was a very personal moment"

The Fastest Texter is from Libya, living in Knockloyn; JD: "It's in the Middle-East" AK: "Knockloyn?" JD: "Well, it may aswell be"

Tuesday 6:

AK Phoneshow:
Caller was on holidays in Italy, JD: "Did you go to see where the film 'Glad-he-ate-her' was made? That film involved a plumber" AK: "And what did he do?" JD: "He ate her....he was a cannibal"

Nosy neighbours: JD: "When you had net curtains you could sit naked behind them and watch the neighbours." Caller: "I could be doing anything and they'd be watching me, out in the front doing some DIY" JD: "They're not spying on when you're doing a bit of DIY, are they?"

AK: "I used the torch (FM104 keyring) to find my way into the house today, it was dark" JD: "Oh, and did you find the hole?"

RTE: After the Liverpool match, Bill: "And now Daragh Maloney is with Rafa Benitez" (No sound from interview, only crowd) Eamon: "Rafa's not talking to us anymore (in bad accent) I not talk to those guys from RTE anymore"

Wednesday 7:
Duffy: "I did Ms.Woulfe, she was shite"

RTE: After United match: Talking of crap teams in Champions League: Eamon: "They stay in so they can get hammered and it makes good TV, will I sing a song or something?"

Thursday 8:

During Maths exam: Millea turns around and shoves Jamal's pencil case off table, Dylan gets up to go to toilet and knocks all of Jamal's papers and pens off the table. It's Jamal who gets a lecture off Miss Pat Magee.

What Happened During The Phillipines Trip

Monday 1 Oct 07:
English: Some drug-addict called Ms. Miller says she's teaching us English while Hogan's gone;
P. Kelly: "I'm David Caffrey" Luke (as Borat) "David Caffrey on detention!.......I want to make sex explosion on your face"
Philip reads his essay "My Ideal Afternoon": "I was sitting in my kitchen on an 2-legged wooden chair with only a mocha-choca-chino for company....it was a gay afternoon"
Lorenzo writes "I love Ms. Miller" on his essay and signs off as James Brennan.
Lorcan: "Well first of all Miss, Mr.Hogan usually teaches with his top off"

Maths: P.Doyle: "So your answer is log 2 which equals 0.6931...I don't go around learning off log tables, I have a far more exciting life than that. I know it from physics"

B.S: Woulfe has lights off for projector, Dotsy comes in and turns them on, he goes in the black book. Others come in, Dylan and Duffy "Turn on those lights there". Keegan (who else) falls for it, Fogo: "Keegan just get out", E.W: "Keegan just get out"

Tuesday:
English: Philip: "Are we actually doing English?"
Miller: "You wouldn't do this to a male teacher.....Did you ever read '1984' by George Orwell, I bet you didn't", Dean:"Funny!"
Miller: "Is anyone familiar with Pink Floyd?" P.Kelly puts up hand, revealing pink boxers. Miller snaps and makes her big exit: "You (P.Kelly), you're a prick, you two (him and Luke), you're both f*cken pricks, the whole lot of you go f*ck yourselves" (with that she storms out....lesbian BYE!)

B.S: Fogo and Dotsy want to leave early for bus, Fogo: "Well we don't all live on the Southside" E.W (to Dotsy): "You're in trouble aswell" Dotsy: "What?! I didn't say anything...I'm not in that boat" Ciaran: "You won't be on that bus either"

Wednesday:
Irish: Gillanders (to Shane McShite): "Shane will you put that phone away" SMcK:"Yeah" OG: "Shane.." SMcK:"Yeah, in a f*cken second" That was a lot of cursing in the last 2 days.

Monday (8th Oct):
Maths: PD: "Eoghan did you get the answer?" Furlong: "No" PD: "Did you have a problem?" EF: "Yeah" PD: "Voice your opinion there Eoghan, assert your human rights"
Pat: (Talking of some magazine for the Leaving Cert): "It's €30 for 7 issues which, in my opinion, is a little steep"

AK Phoneshow: Someone rings in doing a very bad Jake Stevens, Jeremy:"Jake Stevens, that's so old, I suppose you may aswell ring up and say 'How you doin?' or 'Wasssssuuuupp'"

Wednesday:
AK Phoneshow: AK: "Tonight at 10:30 we'll have a report on someone getting a prick stuck into them" JD:"At that time of night" (Jeremy giving blood)
JD: "My brother-in-law had it in his hand earlier with a measuring tape to measure the length and width of it......Seemingly, SEEMINGly they're bigger" (Wispa bars)
AK swatted a fly, JD: "There's something all squishy in your hand" AK: "Oh, there's the fly in the other hand"

Thursday:
French: News was coming through that Shane McShite was expelled (YES!), Niall: "It was consensual" Me: "It was consensual, then they expelled him"

Friday:
B.S: Woulfe catches Millea doing his homework, Dotsy: "Leave him alone Miss, he's hormonal" Fogo: "He didn't get his Ready-Brek this morning"

Accounting: Dean has to go to Freeman's, Donal: "Do you want some Vaseline?" Sam: "He has chapped lips, Miss"

After P.E; Dylan: "Goose isn't going to have a shower before he goes out tonight, he said 'Sure I'll be having one tomorrow'" Mackey: "What's the point in having a shower if you're just going to get dirty again"

Tuesday (16th Oct):
Hist: BoF: (As Vaughan): "You destroyed my 'Fog Of War', that was €30 like"

Maths: PD (giving Goose a detention slip): "Stephen, here's an unwanted present"

B.S: Millea: "Miss, does Ireland have more exports than imports?"
Fogo: "Are footballers imports? They provide a service" Dotsy: "That's one to ponder over"
BoF: "Miss, are Russia in the EU?" Dotsy (as BoF): "Are Austalia in the EU?" BoF: "Someone told me they were in the EU" Lorcan: "I wouldn't f*cken listen to them anymore BoF"

AK Phoneshow: (talking of kissing on trains) JD: "If you are making out on a train, pull out first" AK: "What?" JD: "Pull out from the station"

Tuesday:
R.E: We're watching "Alive!", Hugh: "Miss, is this made by the same people who made 'Fair City'" Maloney: "No, why?" Hugh: "It's crap"

Wednesday: (Hogan et al are back)
Maths: Furlong: "We're going to give Hogan a welcoming jig in history"

History: Hogan's first question: "Lads, what the f*ck did you do to the substitute teacher?" Furlong: "She came in with the attitude" Fionan: "She took a disliking to Patrick Kelly's underwear"
Brushy (as Bof on the Philipines trip): "This is stupid, what's the point, why can't you build it yourselves. You're all thicks"

Accounting: KK: "We're going to work back-the-ways (?)"
Sweets: "Miss, where's our new projector screen?" Donal: "You have to demand it from Fr. Daly" Sam: "Go into the office and give him a few kisses"

B.S: Declan gives some stupid answer, EW: "Does anyone have anything else to say?" Daragh: "Shut up" EW: "Apart from that"

AK Phoneshow: (talking of snails and frogs legs): JD:"Did you ever put something slippery in your mouth?" AK: "Yeah, once, and I swallowed it. It tasted like rubber.....You have to put it on your tongue and it slides down your throat" JD: "And how were the snails?"
AK: (In a bad french accent): "Les escargots" JD: "They're not Italian"
Talking of Chinese restaurants: AK: "It's the 'wong' restaurant" JD: (exhale)

The Rest Of The Week:
Thursday (18th Oct 07): History: (Hogan's providing a lot of quotes since coming back from the Philipines) Hogan: "There's a few technical problems with the Wall Of Sound" Fionan: "You should get rid of all that crap (beside the window) and put it there" Hogan: "No, I want it down there so I can look at it from here over Kilduff's oddly shaped head.....That's been building up in me since the Philipines"
Hogan: "What were the reasons for championing Rosa Parks" Someone: "She was black" BoF: "She's a bit black alright"
Hogan: "Sorry to keep mention this but the black woman in Star Trek" Brushy: "Will I write the black woman from Star Trek in my Leaving Cert and get an A?"
Sweetman: "She was a black woman" Hogan: "She was"
Rob giving reasons to Hogan, Hogan: "OK, you're boring me now Robert"
Hogan: "The Montgomery Boy....Bus Boycott. I can assure you there were no boys invloved"

English: (talking of Ms. Miller) Hogan: "Do you have the handouts she gave you?"
Philip: "I wonder how she's coping without the methodone"
P.Kelly: "Sir, I heard Interpol were looking for you"
Daragh (to Hogan): "Did you hear what Ms. Maher (pronounced More) was saying about you?"
Hogan: "Maura?"

Irish: Gillanders ('An Triail'): "She put her baby's head in the oven and gasses herself" Dylan: "That's a bit harsh"

AK Phoneshow: JD: "What did you play with when you were younger? Wait don't answer that" AK: "Well, I was 15 when I got my first one, it was round. It was a record" JD: "What was your record? 7 minutes?" AK: "More like 3"
(Talking of toy soldiers) JD: "When was the last time you played with your soldier?" AK: "When I was 15" JD: "That was a long time ago"

Friday:
Accounting:



History: BoF: "For the project I know the title can't just be 'Cathal Brugha'. It has to be...." Hogan: "'Cathal Brugha-Scumbag'" Fionan: "Langer!" Kilduff: "Terrorist"

Maths: P Doyle: "So if you spin it along the y-axis, what shape do you get?" Fuzzy: "A donut" PD: "Yes, one of those round-shaped donuts with chocolate on top, they're gorgeous and all that"

Business: Some 1st year comes into class, Duffy turns around to stare at him but knocks his books off his table: "Oh shite"

Fr. Daly took Vaughan's (his last day today) Irish class out of Mass because they all drew cocks on Ms. Woulfe's pink Bush............CD Player (it was in his classroom for some reason)
During Mass: Fr.Keenan: "What's your last hymn, or song, they seem to have all been love songs so far" Mackey: "'Angels'" Fr. Keenan: "Oh, I suppose that has a holy theme"

AK Phoneshow: AK (Talking of old kid's TV show 'Button Moon') "That man (in credits) sounds like a pervert" JD (sarcastically): "Yeah, he's definitely on the sex register"
Caller: "Do you remember another show called 'The Shoe People'?......they kept changing their heads" JD: "Excuse me?" Caller: "The characters all had different shaped heads" JD: "Like the Aherns?"

Words Hogan Can't Pronounce

Montgomery Bus-Boycott (Montgomery Boy-Bus-cott)
Aeronautics (Astronautics)
Hue (Hoy)

Memories Of 5th Year: Part 5

The departed Ms Kilbane ends an Accounting class, and there's riots in the corridors.

5th Year Memories: Part 4

This was our last R.E class of the year and my battery goes at the end, making a nice loud noise to draw attention to the fact I was recording the class.



Yay! School tomorrow, can't wait!

Memories Of 5th Year: Part 3

The Very Original 6th Year Prank

Memories Of 5th Year: Part 2

After Accounting Dean attempts to pour a bucket of water over Donal but Mr. Halpin averts the crisis. Ms. Kilbane also features.

Memories Of 5th Year Part 1

23 rd May 2007:
Enda Kenny's election poster is put up on the wall and Mr.Byrne comes face-to-face with his double

Pat Patterson.......Remember You Always

Well my mini-camera picked a great time to give out on me, meaning all pictures I took today are lost forever. However, I only got 1 decent picture of the man himself, all the graffiti (hope Jenko isn't reading this) is on my phone, so that's safe.

In other hilarity:
Thur 29 Mar: R.E: The Shane McShite incident: "Are you nearly finished yet?" (to Ms Maloney as we wait outside while she talks to student) D.M: "NO!" (All can be heard in much more detail on The Potscast Vol. 3)

B.S: The fire alarm is going off but we can't hear it. A 6th Year puts head in door "Eh, there's a fire alarm" How reassuring to know we'll be safe if there actually is a fire.

On bus home: Duffy: (to some bird who got on) "The nose on her"; (To guy she sits down beside, who then gets up to get off) "Resist the temptation on the bus"; (To guy who gets on) "Who's this faggot?"

Tue 27 Mar:
Hist: Fionan "Sir you can get fake tan from teabags now" Hogan replies: "Good luck with your teabagging Fionan."

R.E: Maloney: "I was driving to Sandymount to take pictures of the lighthouse for my ecology (?) class, but I took a wrong turn and somehow wound up at the sewage treatment plant (In Poolbeg)....... on my way back I was going through a halting site when the travellers started throwing teabags at me for 'coming near them'." Lorcan: "Ha, Ms. Maloney got teabagged"

Fri 23 Mar:
B.S: Dylan puts a lock on Daragh's bag, Daragh: (to Woulfe): "Miss, someone put a lock on my bag" E.W: "Just ignore it" Deco: "It's calling me names"

Irish: Jenko checking people who have been late to the class, to P.Kelly: "You've missed 28 Irish classes" P.K: "Pardon" K.J (In a much lower voice): "You've missed 28 Irish classes"

Thur 22 Mar:
At match v Institute (0-0): Micka is playing, Lorcan: "What's Micka's first name?" Fahy: "John" Duffy: "Dirt"

Tue 13 Mar:
Maths class in Rm 4. Ms. Woulfe comes in and we think we have a free class. P Diddy comes in, A. O'Tuama: "Fight" Furlong (impersonating PD): "Eh, Ms. Woulfe if you could just pop off the auld skirt there"

P. Diddy Quotes

Thanks to James for e-mailing me these Pat Doyle quotes which originally appeared on Stephen McDermott's Bebo page:

-Introduction to EVERY class: "Now, we'll just, eh, check/go through our attendence here now" -Roll call: "Declan Driver", "Here sir", "EHHH Patrick Kelly", "Here sir", "EHHH Stephen McDermott", "Here sir", "and EHHH Michael Walsh", "Here sir"

-After EVERY roll call: "Now if could we just remove the old jackets"

-After that: "Now. We were on this business of..../We'll get back to this business of..."

-"If you don't mind me saying so..."

-"AH!"

-"The fact of the matter is..."

-"You'll be glad to hear...."

-"Let me just draw your attention to..."

-"If you stop to think about it..."

-"That was question number (insert EXACT number) in, oh, I think it was (names EXACT year)"...and shows us the exam paper to prove himself right

-"I sold a diffraction grating worth 5 Euro to a lad once for 50 Euro, except I had to, you know, add on 12.50 for VAT"

-"Now, you've got these experiment copies to do. One day in most schools a Department inspector comes in and checks those copies and grades you on them. Note how I say most. See they won't be coming in here because I'm Pat Doyle"

-"Have you ever seen a film called Dirty Harry? It's got a very famous physicist called Dr. Clint Eastwood in it. And in that film, there's a scene where a guy fires a little gun at someone and the guy who's shot at goes flying miles out the window behind him. Now, under the Law of Conservation of Momentum, this is impossible. I was in the cinema when I saw this, and I started to point out to the audience the obvious flaws in this theory. I even started handing out sets of notes. They started calling me some rude names, and I must say I didn't really like that" -"Now what's the answer to that?"....(randomly starts a timed clock)....15 seconds later: "eh, is it 3 sir?"...(stops clock). "Now, the reason for that was to gauge how long it would take for you to answer me. You're the most fascinating bunch I've ever come across. I'm beginning to think that you either don't like me, or that you're scared of me....."

-"See the psychedelic colour it has there? It's like, eh, tripping on acid or something" (pauses for laughs, gets silence)..."But I've only ever read about that"

-"I'm a big fan of Pink Floyd.....Rock on brother!"

-"Now the lightning conductor is saying to the ionised air 'give it to me baby!' "

-"Now, there's an interesting thing about public Christmas trees. Members of the 'O' family come along and try and steal the lights. By 'O' family I mean 'Johnno' and 'Micko' and the likes"

-"Question number six is an absolute CLASSIC"

-"You might note a slight sense of cynicism in my voice"

-"Now, if you're stuck in a car during a thunderstorm and lightning strikes the vehicle, you may wonder to yourself just how the hell you're going to get out of the thing. So my suggestion to you is, bang on the window with your elbow a couple of times, but make sure there's no joy, and press the button to open the car, but pretend it won't open. Repeat this step a number of times and eventually some fella will come along and open the car door for you. When he earth's the million volts trapped by your car, you simply step out of the vehicle, unharmed...."

-Pat's conclusion to this evil plan: "Anyone who does this is clearly not a student of physics and therefore does not deserve to live anyway"

-"Now, you may notice with electricity that in my notes there's not a single equation on the first five pages. But don't panic, there's some later on"

-"This chapter of the book is called "More Difficult Differentiation". Now, I want you to scratch that and call it: "More EXCITING Differentiation"

-"A very sad thing happened in 1984 when they took Calculus of the Physics course"

-End of every class: "We'll pause it there for the moment"

ADDITIONS:

-"That would be stepping into the realm of Applied Maths"

-"That would be a very subtle piece of maths there now"

-His definition of Applied Maths: "It's not Maths, it's not Physics, it's Maths-Physics"

-"Now, I'd like you to NB that to the power of seven"

-"Believe it or believe it not......."

In other news....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

But on a lighter note, who's the f*cker Ellie's hugging? He'd better watch himself.